Love is not always easy, but is necessary
If you are divorced, multiple or otherwise, or have been unsuccessful in love, or never been in a loving relationship but just in toxic ones because of yourself or your partner, then perhaps you should not have hard and fast rules about what a successful relationship looks like with its many nuances and also not be so inflexible about the 'rules of engagement' in this domain because you have listen to someone for whom a particular method has worked.
That has worked for them - you however are without a working method, delving deeper into the abyss of resentment and self hatred.
Broaden your horizons, be flexible enough to understand other worldviews, try to understand what is the essence of being with someone and why you seek that connection. Being in a relationship doesn't have to be either a case of power dynamics or competition. Those two aspects if not monitored are actually incredibly toxic to any relationship.